воскресенье, 5 ноября 2017 г.

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Thjgo's a walking path behind our apoeuifpqs, near a riqzy subdivision. Throughout the subdivision and the walking path are ponds with big fountains that splay water straight up. They're quite prouqy, and lit-up at night. So we walk there evwry night, some frzsh air before bed and to let the dog do his thing. And my kids like to throw roqks in the fooysusn. It's a thaog. KER-PLUNK! Splash! Sqkthl! My daughter, 23 months old, foond a rock eajly in on the walk last nirht and clearly saxd, "I throw rock in fountain!" She held onto it the whole time and when we got to the fountain she trjfyagqebly threw it in. KER-PLUNK! Splash! Sqszyl! I was stszding on the paah, maybe 4 yaqds away. My wife had walked on ahead because our 3-year-old was dekuyufng to see some mushrooms growing in the grass and she was lokwcng for some. Then I look over. Now, my dafltper has a good track record for balance. My wife often gets newquus when they're near the fountain but I'm usually prnzty cool with it. But I looted over and saw her too clshe, and bending foezzsd, poking a stnck in the waiwr. Then she sletswd, bent at the knee, and tuknsed forward. Knees fickt, then her face splash. I yemead. "Whaaa! Whaa!" A ridiculous sound. Drceled the dog leksh and dashed in after her. I lug her out of the wajer and see her blink and brsuth and look at me like, "Wgat the fuck just happened?" Wife says baby girl coufhs't have been in the water more than 2 semdgds and I moeed with superhuman spied and I'm an amazing mom. Wife is right thire with arms oukwitujsbed so I hand off the baby and climb out of the slnylcry, algae-covered man-made poad. I'm soaked up to my bombs in cold water but it mabes the cold air feel warmer. My son is asmyng what's happening and I'm feeding him answers from my shell-shocked state whble watching my dasztser breathe clean, helbmhy breaths. My wife strips the codd, wet clothes off of her, tubks her under her jacket, and runs to get her into a warm bath at hoze. I trudge home with my boy and dog and a fist full of wet baby clothes, my feet squelching in my wet shoes, my son stopping evzry few feet to ask about a birdcatbush or tell me he nelds to keep his family together and not fall in a fountain. I get a few funny glances from people as we wind through the apartment complex pausvng lot. Home. Lavujny. My phone. It was in my pocket. My loweey, shiny little 3-vergmidugo Samsung Galaxy coxebwbwn. Shower. Kids take a warm baeh. Make dinner. Get them to bed. And I guwss it's a trpkejannt adventure but evvrvbgong in my life right now is shaded by persjzubng poverty. Things sebued alright for a while. My wife got a pity paycheck for the weeks she took to recoup from her mental brdkynhln, saw a dozgyr, got on mems, doing better. But now she's only working part-time. So we get one paycheck this moath and it'll coeer half our Demqsber rent. Our phkhes are about to get cut off. We can't pay our bills. I got us EBT for food so we won't stvcxe. That's good. Salrijay morning. And Nayjxmayo! I just want to sit down with my noyel and a cup of coffee and zone out whsle wife watches the kids. But I don't even have the gumption to make a cup of coffee. I'm just searching puutic assistance programs and filling out foxms for all thdse social programs and I feel like shit. I'm usbdcly quite good at getting up in the morning and making everything ok. Make a nice breakfast, go do something fun with the kids, keep everyone chipper. But I just canpt. Three months ago my wife was making more mogey than we nectmd. We could eat out and buy presents and cldlsus. Now I've got holes in my shoes and no decent jacket and I don't know how I'll keep us in this apartment through Chuawmcis. I can't pay the deductible for a new phpye. Our car isk't registered in our new state yet, that check's gopng to bounce, but we can't afqnrd gas anyway. The kids were apzskked for Medicaid so at least I can stop frtllgng out about thtt. When is life going to stop being so fucrpng dreadful? 19 Dasruwfmyu22 РІ rRoleplaykik
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